Whose Prison Is It, Anyway?
by Hermione Vader
Summary: Whose Line Is It, Anyway?Prison Break Style! Includes all of your favorite inmates and some of the original WLIIA cast members. R&R!
1. Ep 1: Let's Make a Date

**Whose Prison Is It, Anyway?**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is the first and last disclaimer.

**Episode One**

DREW: Welcome to "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" Our performers tonight are:

Four score and seven years ago…Lincoln Burroughs! (_Lincoln tilts his head and stares suspiciously at the camera._)

He's no Archangel…Michael Scofield! (_Michael stares at the camera with his usual sultry stare._)

Oh Canada…Colin Mochrie! (_Colin sucks in his cheeks and makes a goldfish-face._)

He's sugary…Sucre! (_Sucre raises an eyebrow._)

**Let's Make a Date**

One performer is a female contestant on a dating show and the other three are the eligible bachelors. Each bachelor has a bizarre identity or personality quirk. Colin is the female and Sucre, Michael, and Lincoln are the eligible bachelors.

COLIN (_in a high-pitched, girly voice_): Bachelor Number One, I love European luxury cars. If you bought a European luxury car, which kind would it be and why?

SUCRE (_an obsessed Michael-Scofield-fangirl---jumps up from his stool and gets in Michael's face_): Oh my God! I absolutely adore you, Mr. Scofield! I've loved since forever! Marry me!

COLIN: Are you sure you're not a bachelor_ette_? Bachelor Number Two, I love Mexican food. What's your favorite type of Mexican dish?

MICHAEL (_T-Bag---in T-Bag's Southern drawl_): Oh, Susie-Q, I do believe you are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. You know I love you. I cannot procreate, Susan, but your children are the answer.

COLIN: "Too much information" obviously means nothing to you. Bachelor Number Three, if you took me on a romantic getaway, where would you take me?

LINCOLN (_Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter_): Crikey, she's a beauty! Look at that! You rarely every see ones like that. (_Lincoln runs to the first row of audience members and leads an attractive black woman onto the stage_. _The woman giggles hysterically and puts her hand to her face._) I've never seen anything like this! This is probably one of the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. (_He lets the woman go back to her seat and he returns to his stool._)

COLIN: Oh, I like you. Back to Bachelor Number One.

SUCRE(_has his arms around Michael's neck_): Oh, Michael, we'll have a big wedding on the beach. Then we'll honeymoon on Mount Everest. And we'll have ten children named---

MICHAEL (_still using a Southern drawl_): Oh, if only it were true. You don't what I'd give to have a family of my own. Don't leave me! You cannot leave me! You don't know what I'm capable of. But you will, if you leave!

LINCOLN: Crikey! That one looks like a fighter! (_Lincoln runs to the first row again and picks out a large, blonde, middle-aged man who looks a bit like Hulk Hogan._) See? Look at him! (_He tries to put the man in a headlock while the man gives him a death glare, though he's futilely trying to stifle his laughter_.) Isn't he amazing?

(_Buzzer._)

DREW: So, Colin, who are they?

COLIN: Sucre is Michael's biggest fan.

DREW: Correct.

COLIN: Michael…I'll get back to Michael. Lincoln is the Crocodile Hunter.

DREW: Right. Can you get three out of three?

COLIN: Um, Michael is the…he's the murderer from _Psycho_?

DREW: Oh, darn. He's Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell. That's twenty points for Michael and five thousand points for Hulk Hogan over there.


	2. Ep 1: Scenes from a Hat

**Scenes from a Hat**

Drew has a patriotic-looking top hat on his desk and he picks little pieces of paper from the hat. The performers have to act out the suggestions on the pieces of paper.

_Things Paul Kellerman does when no one is looking._

(_Lincoln is on center._)

LINCOLN (_looks around to make sure no one is watching, then dances like a five-year-old and sings_): I'm a Barbie Girl/ in a Barbie world/ I am plastic/ it's fantastic!

(_Buzzer_.)

_Possible titles for Michael Scofield's biography._

MICHAEL (_pretends to take a book off a shelf_): "Things You Shouldn't Do in Prison."

COLIN (_same action_): "Women Love Fugitives."

SUCRE (_same action_): "The Secret Codes in Tattoos." (_Michael chuckles._)

LINCOLN (_same action_): "Where NOT to Put Your Secret Plan."

(_Buzzer._)

_If _Prison Break_ was a musical._

(_Lincoln and Michael are on center._)

MICHAEL (_singing to Lincoln_): Oh, I'll get you out of jail/ yes, I'll get you out of jail/ I'll get you out of jail with the help of these tattoos! (_Lifts his shirt up._) (_All four crack up._)

(_Sucre is on center_.)

SUCRE (_singing_): Bellick locked my girlfriend up/ Bellick locked my girlfriend up/ Bellick locked my girlfriend up, so I have to help him out!

_Ways to describe your escape plan, but not your girlfriend._

COLIN: All we have to do is find that long, dark tunnel.

MICHAEL: Of course can try; she's really easy!

(_Buzzer._)

DREW: I loved that little shirt lift. Four hundred points to Michael's tattoos.


End file.
